It's official, Botto Bistro is the worst restaurant ever on Yelp and in Yelp's world.
We are the only One star restaurant on Yelp, and our goal is finally reached!
Giving an immediate 50% OFF any pizza for your One star review.
Take a quick screenshot to show it to us, as Yelp's special Botto team removes our reviews as fast as possible. Busy people...so far they removed just about 3,000 of Botto's one star reviews.
How cute and adorable is that? They are busy people thanks to us.
It takes great chefs, great talent and great experience to get a Michelin star,
but to get a one star score on Yelp it takes way more.
You need balls, bad attitude (Italian if possible), the media and the support of the public.
In other words, you need a revolution.
That is exactly what we had, a revolution. Thousands of responses, e-mails and, most importantly,
over 3000 one stars reviews written with sarcasm by Botto supporters from all over the country and also overseas.
We promised our loyal customers that we were going to be the worst restaurant on Yelp, and here you have it.
We never doubted for a moment that the American public would give us such important support.
In fact, this amazing reward is the result of what people can do together.
This Yelp One star is all yours, dear friends.
Thank you to all the thousands of fans who wrote these incredibly funny reviews - we really hope they won't be lost in a useless Yelp file of "removed reviews", they were too funny.
It is official that our restaurant is purposefully out of the race to get the best reviews.
We leave Yelp Headquarters with the hard job of deciding where to place our 3000 one star reviews. They can filter them, remove them, squeeze them, take them out for an ice cream or even to Disneyland. We have a wonderful idea our own of where Yelp can stick our 3000 one star reviews now.....but it's on them.
If it wasn’t comical enough, they have actually had their butt kicked for over 6 years
by a small Italian restaurant with 10 tables, overpriced, sucky food, a bad attitude and zero interest in making it better.
Most recently we have reason to thank a journalist from the New York Times for highlighting the statement made by Yelp spokeswoman at the beginning of our trolling campaign two years ago
(glad to see the media giving Yelp a reality check once again.)
After Botto Bistro started to troll Yelp, this is what she had to say about our campaign: ‘Botto Bistro is cheating itself out of customers’. And that was 6 years ago, when they still had no idea Botto Bistro would open the biggest crack in their ship since the time of the Titanic.
There are a few way to interpret their statement dear friends.
If Yelp’s spokeswoman was referring to her personal friends as our customers, obviously we were pretty safe from the start.
In case she actually has some friends it is clear enough that they are not listening to her.
If she was referring to Yelp’s followers, we actually bribed them for 6 years by offering 50% off our pizza in exchange for a one star rating, all without Yelp’s approval of course.
With a few dollars off a sucky pizza we got a few million dollars worth of free publicity for 6 years, and it is still working just fine, because they are still removing review after review daily.
Finally, if that statement was intended as a threat she totally scared the hell out of us.
Along with these marketing geniuses, Yelp can count also on Mr Vice president Vincent Sollitto ‘Nostradamus,’ who also predicted that Botto Bistro would be out of business because that is just what happens to businesses if they don’t agree with them. Armed with Harvard studies and statistics he boasted to the world how impossible it would be for any business to be successful without Yelp.
According to him without Yelp your business has no chance, you’ll gain weight, lose all your hair, you’ll get chicken pox and your friends won’t like you anymore.
His prediction can put Nostradamus to shame apparently.
Now, we love Vinnie as if he was normal, he is adorable and everything, but at this point
we are making a desperate appeal to the generosity and the soft heart of a specialist to finally find the right medication for this confused man. Not the smartest guys in the class apparently, so if you have an IQ lower than this guy you’ll need to be watered twice a week.
I mean Mr Vice president Nostradamus didn’t guess one statement right out of the dozens he made.
Even lady luck really does not want to kiss this guy one time (And if you look at him you’ll know why). Anyway, do not go gamble in Vegas with Vinnie from Yelp, just a friendly suggestion.
Reading their statements today the words of our Mama in Italy come into our mind “think before you open your mouth’.
Obviously the Yelp crew didn’t get mama’s memo.
At this point even the Mickey Mouse Club’s spokesperson has more credibility than these guys.
I mean, they have tried everything they could possibly think of: they removed 3,000 reviews (still doing that daily), they sent us threatening letters, they told all their friends, family and pets. We think they also tried to learn some Italian so they could communicate with us.
They should have bought ‘How to Handle Italians for Dummies’ and followed the instructions,
it would probably have worked better.
HERE IS WHAT THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE, BUT HERE IS WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SEE
And finally and not to be missed,
Yelp's terrifying, threatening letter and our reply.
SEP 15, 2014 | 11:28AM PDT
Hi Michele,
I'm contacting you from the Yelp User Support Team because we've received complaints from the community that you may be offering incentives in exchange for reviews.
To be clear, this violates our Terms of Service (http://www.yelp.com/static?p=tos&country=US), and reviews written under such circumstances violate Yelp's Content Guidelines (http://www.yelp.com/guidelines). We also often find from user feedback that
such practices do more harm than good, as the practice creates distrust amongst customers and users who now eye all reviews
on a listing with suspicion.
If you are offering incentives in exchange for reviews, we ask that you immediately discontinue such activity. If we learn that this type of behavior has continued, we may take action on your Business Account which could include suspending access to your listing. It may also result in a Consumer Alert being placed on your listing: http://officialblog.yelp.com/2012/10/consumer-alerts-because-you-might-like-to-know.html
Regards,
Marvin
Yelp Support San Francisco, California
OUR REPLY
Hi marvin,
I'm contacting you from the Botto User Support Team because we've received complaints from the community that you may
be removing reviews in exchange of vague explanations to loyal customers.
To be clear, this violates our Terms of Service (http://www.bottobistro.com/FAQ.html), and reviews removed under
such circumstances violate Botto's Content Guidelines (http://www.bottobistro.com/FAQ.html). We also often find
from loyal customers feedback that such practices do more harm than good, as the practice creates distrust amongst
loyal customers and users who now eye your site with suspicion.
If you are offering this explanations in exchange of removed reviews, we ask that you immediately discontinue such activity.
If we learn that this type of behavior has continued, we may take action on our Business Account which could
include suspending all activity to our listing. It may also result on adding a Yelp Customer Alert page on our website
